This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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