even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
