Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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