i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
