you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm like, not good at living.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
