The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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