And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
