why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
