Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
