They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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