Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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