I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I am available for nakedness
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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