the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize