Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
