Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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