she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you're hired as official boob wrangler
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize