Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
