woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
