Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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