I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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