Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
