We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
