This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
