can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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