Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
