Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
is it fun? or sober?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
