just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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