She's JV to your varsity
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
