I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
