i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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