Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
