I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
