i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
