i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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