The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
