I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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