Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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