I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
