no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
