Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
