how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
