im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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