Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just tell him i said nine months
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
