I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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