forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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