dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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