i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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