my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
