That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
