It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize