you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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