Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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