Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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