Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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