I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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