Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
