YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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