Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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