our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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