We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
