Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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